Courtney Hoskins

View Original

FAQ: My Dog

That's my dog, Pixol. This picture was taken at LAX. She is sitting in her soft dog carrier (read: celebutante dog purse) after having made me chase her through the concourse, knowing neither "come" nor "stay." What's a Pixol, you ask? Why, a pixol is a three-dimensional pixel in Z-Brush. A Pixol is also my dog. Why Pixol and not Pixel? Because my dog has three legs. Ba-dum tish. And what a good way to kick off my FAQ! Whenever I take my little one out for a walk in our Santa Monica neighborhood, we are bombarded with questions and comments concerning her handicapability. I decided to create this FAQ and direct people here to make our lives a little easier. In descending order of frequency:

MY DOG, AN FAQ

Q. Oh my God! He only has three legs!
A. This is not a question. It's a (rude) statement. I already knew that. And he is a she. But thanks for pointing that out. You're good at seeing stuff.

Q. What happened to its leg?
A. Wait... what? Where's your... bad dog! Bad dog!! Let's go back to the dog park...

Q. No, seriously, what happened to her leg?
A. Shark fight. You should see the other guy.

Q. Are you only going to give sarcastic answers to these questions?
A. Mostly. Actually, she was hit by a car and it had to be amputated. There. Don't you think "shark fight" is way cooler?

Q. Was she "like that" when you got her?
A. Yes, I adopted her with a missing leg. And yes, "good for me" for taking her in. I am awesome and the angels smile upon me.

Q. Aww... well she gets along just fine, doesn't she?
A. No, she doesn't. It's a daily struggle, and I'll thank you not to bring it up again. Actually, yes. She doesn't even seem to notice. She slips on the hardwood floor, but then so do I after a glass of wine. Of course, I only have two legs, so you be the judge of who is more coordinated...

Q. Are you ever going to get her a prosthetic?
A. If I ever feel that she needs one, absolutely. Or if I ever want her to be a pirate for Halloween. I will go as her parrot. It will be awesome.

Q. How long have you had her?
A. It's funny how often people ask me this question. Is this a question asked of all dog owners or only the owners of dogs with missing legs?

Q. Does it ever bother her?
A. Not really. I mean, when she gets tired of walking she just flies. Like everyone.

Q. What's her name mean? Why didn't you name her Tripod or Hoppy or Stumpy or some other stupid thing? Heh heh.
A. I don't know. Why didn't your parents name you Rude or Baldy McAsks-a-lot-of-dumb-questions? Isn't "Pixol" bad enough?

Q. Have you seen the dog with only two legs?
A. OMG Yes!! It's the worlds cutest YouTube video and it made me cry liek a lawt. ^_^

Q. What kind of dog is she?
A. She's a Chispangledoodle mix. And also part cat. Somehow.

So there you go. Everything you ever wanted to know about my dog. If you can think of any other questions, please feel free to ask them in the comments section.