Dear Los Angeles, Hi. Remember me? Um... Gosh. Where to begin? I'm not good at this, so I'll just cut to the chase: I know I've been flirting with you a lot over the past few years. You probably think I'm just a tease, but I've been thinking a lot about you lately.
I've tried to make things work with other cities, denying that I secretly long for the embrace of your sandy shores, the comfort of your warm sunlight and the stimulation of your huge... film industry. I crave your music, art, film and media scenes. I even think I could put up with your fickle geologic temperament and abusive traffic jams, if it meant that I could walk along your beaches and watch a classic film on one of your many movie screens.
I know a lot of people don't like you. They say your traffic jams and colorful inhabitants make you a hard city in which to live. I say, let the naysayers keep their New York City with its turtlenecks and dress suits! I'll take your baseball caps and bikinis any day of the year (and I almost could in your gentle clime).
L.A., I just can't help thinking, well... maybe I should move in? Is that too direct? I know you've had some rough times lately, but we all have our ups and downs. I know we could find a way to make it work. I think it's time for us to consider a long-term relationship. Just think about it.
Well, those are my thoughts. I'm here if you need me (really, I'm here if you need me: a job would be a nice engagement gift, ahem...)
P.S. It bein' International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I just have to add a gratuitous "arrr!"