Warning: this post contains
spoilers no spoilers, actually. At least not to Lost. At least... not that I know...
So, I'm about ready to sink into a deep, dark depression. In case you have been living in a hole for six years or just refuse to partake in all things wholesome and good, I'll get you up to speed.
There's this little show called Lost. It was created by some guy named J.J. Abrams and then handed over to these guys named Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof. It's about some folks who crash on an island and then some stuff happens over six seasons. Compelling protagonists. Complex antagonists. Mystery, intrigue, romance, drama, sci-fi and general mythology ensue and then it ends today.
It ends today.
In some ways, this makes me incredibly happy. I like endings. I don't like shows that stretch out for years based only on ratings and then suddenly come to an abrupt end when the sponsor gives up on it.1,2 In other ways, it makes me incredibly sad. I've really become attached to these characters. Quite a few things have ended recently. No more Harry and Hermione. No more Starbuck and the cylons. 1No more Hiro and Claire Bennett. 2No more Flash Forward. And now, no more Jack and Kate. Sigh. Comic-Con had better deliver me something geeky to obsess over this year or I might have to leave my house more often (or at least when Fringe is not on).
Since it is all over the internets and has become something of a pop-culture meme, I offer here my own Top Ten Lost Series Finale Spoilers:
- It's all just a dream. Vincent's dream.
- John Locke is Keyser Soze.
- The Island sees dead people, and it's YOU who has been dead the whole time!
- Turns out the whole thing is about Shannon, Boone, Nikki and Paolo.
- The hatch was actually a worm hole that connected to the Large Hadron Collider. And they blew it up! Those maniacs! Damn them. God damn them all to hell.
- Claire is Jack's sister! His mother! His sister! His mother! She's his sister AND his mother!!!
- There is no Island, only Zuul!
- Kate is actually a man. But it works out because Sawyer is actually a woman. So...
- "Dharma" is the name of his sled. It's also made of people. No, seriously. They wear jumpsuits and stuff.
- It's an alternate universe run by aliens who live in a black hole at the center of hell, can travel through time, have x-ray vision, and also everyone is dead and it's all about the Bible or some junk, but it's okay because it's all just Hurley's schizophrenic delusion.
Thanks for the ride, guys. I will forever carry my Dharma Initiative card in my wallet and the stories in my heart.