Lost Spoilers and Pop Culture Overload

Warning: this post contains spoilers no spoilers, actually. At least not to Lost. At least... not that I know...

So, I'm about ready to sink into a deep, dark depression.  In case you have been living in a hole for six years or just refuse to partake in all things wholesome and good, I'll get you up to speed.

There's this little show called Lost.  It was created by some guy named J.J. Abrams and then handed over to these guys named Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof.  It's about some folks who crash on an island and then some stuff happens over six seasons.  Compelling protagonists.  Complex antagonists.  Mystery, intrigue, romance, drama, sci-fi and general mythology ensue and then it ends today.

That's right.

It ends today.

In some ways, this makes me incredibly happy.  I like endings.  I don't like shows that stretch out for years based only on ratings and then suddenly come to an abrupt end when the sponsor gives up on it. In other ways, it makes me incredibly sad.  I've really become attached to these characters.  Quite a few things have ended recently.  No more Harry and Hermione.  No more Starbuck and the Cylons.  No more Hiro and Claire Bennett.  No more Flash Forward.  And now, no more Jack and Kate.  Sigh.  Comic-Con had better deliver me something geeky to obsess over this year or I might have to leave my house more often (or at least when Fringe is not on).

Since it is all over the internets and has become something of a pop-culture meme, I offer here my own Top Ten Lost Series Finale Spoilers:

1. It's all just a dream. Vincent's dream.

2. John Locke is Keyser Soze.

3. The Island sees dead people, and it's YOU who has been dead the whole time!

4. Turns out the whole thing is about Shannon, Boone, Nikki and Paolo.

5. The hatch was actually a worm hole that connected to the Large Hadron Collider. And they blew it up! Those maniacs! Damn them. God damn them all to hell.

6. Claire is Jack's sister! His mother! His sister! His mother! She's his sister AND his mother!!!

7. There is no Island, only Zuul!

8. Kate is actually Sawyer.

9. "Dharma" is the name of his sled. It's also made of people. No, seriously. They wear jumpsuits and stuff.

10. It's an alternate universe run by aliens who live in a black hole at the center of hell, can travel through time, have x-ray vision, and also everyone is dead and it's all about the Bible or some junk, but it's okay because it's all just Hurley's schizophrenic delusion.

Thanks for the ride, guys. I will forever carry my Dharma Initiative card in my wallet and the stories in my heart.

I'm Team Jacob - of Lost, that is

Some Phun with Photoshop before I get my day going (I was actually surprised I couldn't already find this in a google search). Team Jacob:

(Edit: A friend of mine wasn't familiar with the Team Jacob/Team Edward meme, so I summed it up in a few short sentences (contains mild Twilight spoilers):

Edward is a vampire.  Bella fell in love with him.  He didn't think things would work out.  He dumped her.  Bella was sad.

Jacob is a werewolf.  He fell in love with Bella and hated Edward for hurting her.  She just wanted to be friends.  Jacob was sad

Edward came back and things got all mixed up.  Some people thought Edward was a jerk, some thought he was just trying to protect Bella.

Jacob overstepped his bounds, and some people thought he was a jerk, some thought he was just a dumb boy.

Bella fell in love with both of them (I haven't read the last book yet).

Hence you are either Team Edward or Team Jacob (I was Team Bella, but that's not an option).)

Dreams

While talking to a friend the other night, I realized that I could probably keep my blog nicely filled out by writing about some of the dreams I have. I remember my dreams almost every morning. Some of them are mundane and not really worth repeating. For example, when I've taken Ambien, I usually dream about not being able to fall asleep, being hungry, or going to work (though in my waking moments on that drug, I battle flatscreen television-stealing gypsies with my broadsword and swim with talking sharks- go figure). Most of my dreams, however, have been fodder for screenplays and short films. And a few of them are so bizarre, they wouldn't even be re-creatable with today's modern cinematic technology. The dream I recounted for him was on the cinematic side.

The background: I had just returned from Comic-Con, with geek pop culture fresh on my mind. Rising to the top of my thoughts, of course, was Lost. I had an initial suspicion that the current viral marketing campaign was part of a contest of sorts (I've since kind of given up on that idea). My hope/dream/thought was that the winner might win a walk-on spot, based on the fact that we had to do video "interviews" for "recruitment."

The dream: I was on a plane to... somewhere overseas... to audition for Lost. I had to get off the plane because I somehow didn't have my boarding pass. I went to go stand in line and realized I didn't have my passport, either. Two guys in front of me took my place on the plane (I don't do math in my dreams), and I was forced to wait for the next flight. Luckily, there was a group of Lost folk in the airport, and they were practicing for the upcoming auditions. I decided to join them. Josh Holloway was there and decided he was going to help me get the role (despite my massive crush on Sawyer, that's about as racy as it got).

There was an obstacle course that we needed to get through.  After a bit of coaching by Sawyer, I took off.  I ran across a tropical field to a sort of Mayan temple.  I had to scale the side of the temple.  I was surprised by how quickly I was able to get to my goal: a large wax candle.  My mission was to bring the melted wax of this candle back down to the ground.

I scooped the wax up in my hand.  This presented a problem: the temple was suddenly quite steep and there was no way I would be able to make it back down using only one hand.  I decided the only solution was to hold the wax in my mouth.  I ladled the warm wax into my mouth, where it began to solidify.  I feared that I would choke, but I climbed back down.  At the bottom, I handed off the wax, which at this point had turned to a kind of glowing piece of amber, and boarded the plane, now confident in my ability to get the role.

This next part happens quite often in my dreams: the plane began taxiing, but could not take off (if you ask me, that's a pretty lazy metaphor that my mind has concocted for my film career, but I'll take it).  We wound our way through the streets of Manhattan in this jumbo jet, never quite able to get enough runway for liftoff.

Somehow, my friend and I were in... some tropical location (Hawaii, maybe).  He confessed to me that he was actually one of the co-creators of Lost, but that J.J. Abrams, Carlton Cuse, and Damon Lindelof kind of cut him out of the picture.  He proved this by revealing where the show was headed (and curses!  I don't remember what he said!  Guess I will have to keep watching...)  I asked if he was upset.  He confessed that he initially was, but that he was too excited about his latest project (more on that soon) to let it really bother him.

After that, things either got too blurry to recall or I woke up...

Comic-Con Wrapup: Sunday Success!

I was completely trashed by Sunday. I could feel the fever coming on and the muscle relaxers had created... undesirable... digestive problems, but still, I soldiered on. Today was the day I'd get my Dharma Initiative test. It was now or never. Besides, my flight didn't leave until 7pm. I got up early, scoped the place out, asked dozens of people the same questions about the fastest way to get in (there was a bit of a secret to it), and raced to the booth.

"Congratualtions," said the blonde-haired Australian woman I had harangued all weekend. "You're just in time!" I felt ill, yet thrilled. I didn't know a whole lot about the tests, but I did know (from having walked by the booth a million times) that you were videotaped during the interview. I had also heard that there was a live feed of said video on the internets somewhere. I wasn't exactly happy that I was going to be recorded and broadcast in a state of fever and bloatedness, but, eh. I put on a little lip gloss and got over it! I was just happy to get in (by my calculations, only 400-500 people out of over 100,000 got to take this test there... unless, of course, they were able to use their time travel mojo to fit more people into the time slots).

I had to sign a doozy of a disclaimer, signing away the rights to my likeness and whatnot. I even had to sign away the rights to my signing voice. I don't think I've ever signed anything with my voice before! ;) Still, all of this wording was kind of feeding my original suspicion: the winner of this "recruitment" program might get to be an extra on the show (or something like that, anyway- total speculation).

The test was... interesting. Despite my theories, I have NO idea what this is going to end up being about. I found it interesting, though, that the tests were given names and that you could choose which one you were going to take. Maybe that in and of itself is not interesting, but I thought it was very cool that they were all named after moons of Jupiter- most notably, the Galilean Satellites- my most ambitious experimental liquid crystal film project to date! How serendipitous! I chose "Callisto."

I was hoping that the name of the test meant that we'd be quizzed on our knowledge of said moon/mythological figure. I would have swept it! Alas, it was more of a psychological test. Needless to say, my psyche wasn't in the best condition, but I sucked it up and put on a happy Dharma face.

I was ushered into a booth by a hot guy (no pics, sorry). There was another cute guy in the booth. Forgive me for being shallow for a moment, but Comic-Con isn't exactly filled with smiling male hotness, so it kind of stands out. To be fair, the Dharma women were also very beautiful, as you can (kind of ) see in the pic. Fantastic. Two hot guys and a potential "audition" taping of sorts and I feel like crap!

They were very friendly, though. I tried not to be nervous. I sat down... in the wrong chair. D'oh! I sat down again. Okay. First objective met: sit! Before I even started answering questions, guy #2 observed and took notes (I shall call him "The Silent One" because he said almost nothing the whole time). Guy #1 explained how everything was going to go down.

I was given a set of headphones and told to watch a television screen. A female voice spoke to me. I was told to hold a number up to the camera and state my full name, looking into the camera. I noticed that the camera I was told to speak to was NOT the one doing the recording- there were two other cameras on either side. If this had been an actual interview, I'd have freaked out completely. Who was on the other side of those cameras?

A countdown commenced. I was asked to say the word "continuum" three times, louder with each iteration. I was asked how I felt. The test continued with other questions ("If anything is possible, is nothing also possible?") and a series of images for which I had to say the first word that came to mind. The test ended by asking me what peace sounded like. I think it was peace, anyway. Something tranquil. "Water" was my answer. Most of this test is available online at www.dharmawantsyou.com for anyone who wants to play along. The only real difference is the pressure. The online test is multiple choice and NOT videotaped. Also, I think there is only one test.

I passed! Okay, I haven't heard of anyone not passing, but I was told that they liked that I seemed confident in most of my answers. Yay me! I was given a card with a number and a bar code. I was told I was not to show anyone the card or the number, and that if I did, I would be disqualified. I have used the number so far to register on the site, but the bar code has not come in handy yet.

I had decided to head to the airport immediately after my test so that I could try to get on an earlier flight, or, failing that, at least sit still and watch some videos for a while. I ended up sitting at the terminal for several hours and finally arriving in Denver at midnight. By the time I got home, I felt awful. I basically slept for the next three days. Oh, and I made an origami crane out of the Dharma flyers from Comic-Con (instructions for doing so were printed on the back):

Dharma Initiative recruitment flyer origami crane

Namaste!

(For those who don't watch "Lost," the Dharma Initiative is a group that is associated with that show and this is part of an ARG/viral marketing campaign for the next season.)

Comic-Con: Saturday Insanity

This was when I started feeling like crap. I attributed it to the muscle relaxers I was taking for a back injury, so I stopped taking them, which, of course, made me feel even more uncomfortable. Still, I got up at 5:30 so that I could go stand in line for the "Lost" panel. The "Heroes" panel was right before it and I saw that all of the stars were going to be there. They don't clear out the rooms between panels, so you kind of need to get into the panel before it if you really want a chance to be there. I like "Heroes," so I didn't mind, but it meant that I needed to get there early. The room seats 6,500 people, but you are competing with 200,000.

I got there at 7:30. This was about three hours before the "Heroes" panel. Turned out that wasn't early enough. This is what I saw:

(many thanks to the rooftop security guards for taking this picture for me- they were super nice)

To give you an idea of the ridiculousness of this, the San Diego convention center is large enough to need two train station stops. This line went along the last eighth of this in the front. Not so bad, right? Well the snakey line in my picture looped around about 15 times. THEN, the line ran along the ENTIRE LENGTH of the back of the convention center, and ended at Seaport Village... at the ocean! Holy s*%t!!  Later, I heard that the line was estimated to be two and a half miles long!

Now, I'm a fan of the show, sure. But to stand in a line like this for over two hours with a bum back and the beginnings of a fever and maybe not even get into the panel seemed a little crazy to me. Particularly when I knew perfectly well that I wouldn't get a good seat and that the entire thing would be thrown up all over the internets within a matter of minutes. I decided to give the Dharma testing booth a chance. While there was a line to get to the exhibition floor, it wasn't nearly as long. I stood in line for about an hour and a half before the hall opened... and STILL I was too late to get a test! With one day left in the convention, I was beginning to think that it wouldn't happen.

Comic-Con Reflections

In many ways, I considered Comic-Con to be the anti-Cannes. Technically speaking, it's not a film festival, but it hosts a few (anime, children's films, along with nightly film screenings). I lump them together in a category I call "Geek Havens." Comic-Con is the geek winner, for sure. Many people go to Cannes without a real passion for movies, just a hope that they can sip champagne with someone famous. I think the Comic-Con goers were as interested in drinking champagne as the yacht-goers were in theorizing about Lost (oh, have I mentioned that Lost is my favorite television show of all time?) At Cannes, the rich and famous are the ones catered to. Everyone else has to shuffle along the sidelines, standing tip-toed to see the pretty people on the yachts. Well, at Comic-Con, the consumer is the one catered to. Whether you like a movie or not has no effect on its winning the Palme d'or, but it has a huge effect on profits. The companies at Comic-Con want nothing more than to make you happy so that you will go on to your blog and write about how much you can't wait for Fringe, how much you liked the pilot, and how it is nothing like the X-Files (ahem). The companies are scrutinizing and watching and surveying and sweating, hoping they can please the crowds. Superficially speaking, I don't fit the "demographic" so I like throwing wrenches into the works. I like discussing Herzog and Brakhage as much as I do pop culture. I liked and hated both Cannes and Comic-Con. Mostly for different reasons, but crowds were the common element of the "I want to go home" feeling.

I'll be posting some of my favorite (and least favorite) moments from Comic-Con over the next few days.

Geek Goddess

No, that is not a misspelling, for I am a goddess of geek! I'm a 3D artist, a web designer, an ARG player, a film nut, a sci-fi nerd, a martial artist, and an amateur astronomer, yet I love a good Sephora shopping trip, dressing up for a night of dancing, spa treatments, and would own quite a few more pairs of shoes if I could afford them (alas, zBrush is just too expensive and if given the choice, I could more happily live without the Louboutins). The ultimate proof of my geek status is that I can't wait to get to Comic-Con this year! Yes, I am going and yes, I do plan on bringing my mini-laptop so that I can blog away. The ultimate deciding factor for me this year was the strange commercial that played during the season finale of Lost (no spoilers here, I promise). The commercial was for "Octagon Global Recruiting." They claimed to be seeking people to fill a variety of "unpaid" positions that included "former military" and "ichthyologist."

Ichthyologist? When have you ever seen a commercial on prime time television advertising an unpaid position for an ichthyologist (Professor Frink voice: ahem, that would be a fish scientist, m'hey)?

Of course I knew that it had to be the start of a new between-seasons ARG like "The Lost Experience" (glayven)! I missed out on that one, so I wanted to be sure that I caught the start of this one. I immediately went to www.octagonglobalrecruiting.com and entered my e-mail address. Several things about the site caught my attention: their "recruitment dates" and location coincided exactly with Comic-Con, the recruitment was for the Dharma Initiative (big players in the Lost drama), and the site was sponsored by ABC, with a bit of wording in the legal disclaimer concerning "contest submissions." (There are other "interesting things," but I will spare you the details.)

I'm a HUGE fan of the show and its creator, J.J. Abrams. I had a bit of luck with one of his other projects earlier this year, so I figured if there is a contest having anything to do with Lost to be won, I was going to go for it. It turned out that it wouldn't be too expensive for me to go to Comic-Con and there were dozens of other reasons why attending such an event might be fun. And so, off to San Diego I shall travel next moth, Dharma Initiative costume in hand...

Okay, I'm not quite this guy. Yet. (or am I?)

(now in Comic Book Guy voice: for those of you unfamiliar with the show, that would be the outfit of Claire Bennet, the Indestructable Cheerleader from "Heroes." This was her season 1 cheerleading outfit with the Wildcats logo which was changed from the original Trojans logo from the pilot, thank you.)

A new adventure dawns...

I’m tired. It was impossible to actually sleep last night. I was fussing over my baggage weight. I got a large bag with swiveling wheels so that I could carry the publicity material for LOOP as well as my costume changes for the festival (and the makeup and hair care products/devices that entails). Then I realized that combined with my own luggage, everything weighed about 75lbs. There is a 50 pound-per-bag limit for checked luggage before you are charged an extra $50-$100. You can have TWO such 50lb bags, however. I ended up packing a 25lb bag within a 50lb bag for easy transport and split them up at the luggage counter. Problem solved. I don’t know why that makes them happy, but it does. That and putting your shower gel bottles in a ziplock bag...

I took the bus at sunrise to get to the airport where, after pulling my matryoshka luggage trick, I stood in the security line for an hour and argued with them over why it was NOT okay for the Betacam screening copy of LOOP to go through the x-ray machine. “It should be okay,“ said he. “Should be.” Well that makes me feel better. It’s only like the most important piece of this trip… They finally agreed to a hand inspection explaining that for security reasons everything MUST get x-rayed but that they were doing me a favor. Meanwhile, my pencil sharpener (read: razor blade) managed to miraculously get through these "magical" x-rays… Not that I intend to use it for evil. Unless I draw an evil character, and even then, I’m sure I will be putting him to good use.

Now I have to wait at LAX for six hours before I actually leave for Cannes, which is then a ten-and-a-half hour flight... Why I am going from Colorado to California to France (well, London, then France) is a long story. Suffice it to say, I’ve only completed the first few hours of my journey and I’m already tired.

We hit some heavy turbulence leaving Denver. That’s pretty normal going into the mountains (that rugged terrain makes all sorts of exciting air currents and is one of the reasons you hear of planes going down in the mountains). I don’t like flying. Actually, that’s not true. I love flying. I don’t like the idea of crashing. It doesn’t seem like it would be pleasant. Probably shouldn’t have brought the entire first season of Lost on my iPhone, but… I suppose if I had to crash, it might as well be with Jack and Sawyer and Kate and the gang of cool characters on that show. Especially Sawyer… ahem.

Wormholes and time warps and magical islands notwithstanding, my only major obstacle getting to France should be fatigue.